Migraines and other excuses

This post originally appeared on I Read Odd Books

I know what you are saying. “Anita, you said there would be a review up on Monday. Why must you suck this much?”

I don’t know. I ask myself that question, too.

But my goal is to have two book discussions online each week and I will probably have to start next week. But I promise more consistent content is coming your way, my beloved readers.

But here is why I failed you yet again, dear friends. I got hammered with a migraine on Friday. I hadn’t had one in years – so long, in fact, that I no longer had any of the medications that help me with them. I think the last time I had one was in 2007? Maybe?

Not sure, but I do know I should have gone to the urgent care center and got one of those shots that stops migraines, but I told myself it had to be just a bad headache. Nope. It was a migraine. So I did what migraine sufferers were forced to do in the past – I slept it off, in a dark, silent room, with only occasional moments of lucidity. Today was the first day since Friday wherein I felt sort of human.

But on the bright side, I didn’t end up puking AND Mr. Oddbooks got lots of peace and quiet this weekend.

So just stick with me a little bit longer, Oddbookers. I still have energy and a ton of books to discuss. I just need to catch up from these lost few days.

Again, in the pipeline, I have Wrath James White, an Edward Gorey biography, Jim Goad’s sex book, writings from insane people, and an autobiography from a Warhol Factory member that made me feel very… unsettled as I read it. Stay tuned, 2012 is totally the year I will suck less!

Odd and creepy stuff that is not book-related

This post originally appeared on I Read Odd Books

I’ve been a bit busy lately. I know, that sounds weird to read because it is well known that I am the least busy person on the planet. If I run an errand, I need a nap and a diet soda upon waking. But since about December I’ve had a lot of energy. Lots of hobbies, errands, cooking, interacting with Mr. Oddbooks, and absolutely neurotic levels of cleaning have been going on. This burst of energy means my backlog of books to discuss is about to become not so backed or logged.

And it means I want to write here more, even when I don’t have book-related content. I will have book content Monday – a discussion of Wrath James White’s Population Zero – but until I post it, I want to discuss the music/noises I have been obsessed with lately. I’ve been resurrecting old writing of mine, looking at it and seeing if it is worth salvaging. Some of it is and one of the pieces I want to work on is deeply disturbing. When I work on disturbing stories, I cannot listen to my usual music. I find myself listening the most discordant, horrible sounds because my usual tastes may cause me to think of old friends, old activities and I end up reminiscing more than working. I need things that jangle my brain in an anonymous way.

Nothing I share below is new, though some of it is new to me. I’m sharing it anyway because I feel like sharing, dammit. And it’s not like this site is devoted to the latest in media anyway.

I’ve always been very interested in numbers stations. There’s just something very creepy and intense knowing that you may be listening to a coded order for a spy to kill an enemy agent or to take the cyanide pill. Yeah, none of that probably happened, but it’s still unnerving to listen to a form of communication and know you cannot now and will never know what was being communicated. So I’ve been listening to numbers stations recordings.

When that gets tiring, I listen to the Siberian Sounds of Hell. Anyone who has ever listened to Art Bell knows of them. Utter bunk, but distressing noise is distressing noise. I most often listen to a 20 minute loop of this I have on my computer, but this little video gives the “origin story” of these sounds.

And if you were an Art Bell junkie for any length of time, you probably already know of the call Art Bell got from a supposed frantic man who claimed to have worked at Area 51. Tool turned the call into a song called “Faaip De Oiad.” There’s something about this one that sort of messes with me if I listen to it long enough. I have absolutely no idea why.

Then there is this little gem. I found this one several pages back on a Google search for “horrible noise.” I’m not really into noise rock so that may explain why this has been out for two years and I never heard of it until recently. I play this one in a loop for hours as I think. And again, for whatever reason, there is something about this noise that is troubling to me. Much of the this song is distressing, especially the line, “Our bones won’t grow in the dirt.” That was enough on its own to be unsettling, but then I looked up the band and found this video. Now I associate all of the noise surges with screaming and the line about bones has a more sinister meaning. And then there’s the whole story in the video. Is the victim a girl or a boy? How long was he or she held in captivity, because the smeared make-up and dirty socks convey the idea of a lengthy abduction. The madman is in his underwear. Did the victim thwart a sexual attack and flee? Is the camera pan comparing the legs of the running victim and the madman telling us something? How about the manner in which the victim knew the exact place to hit the femoral artery? What does that tell us? Anything? Nothing? In a way this video encapsulates all that is amazing in story-telling – giving enough information to draw us in and leaving out enough so that we are forced to think. This one is gory as hell so if you are easily freaked out by such things, don’t watch.

I never really liked Aphex Twin but this was part of my background noise when writing long before I saw the video.

And then there is the always horrifying “Frankie Teardrop” by Suicide. The screaming, oh the screaming. The relentless drum machine. This is madness in the form of a song.

There’s more but six videos for one entry is more than enough, I think. Please share with me the music that helps you work, the music that terrifies you or the music that fills you with nauseated dread.

The Cryptoterrestrials by Mac Tonnies

This post originally appeared on I Read Odd Books

Book: The Cryptoterrestrials

Author: Mac Tonnies

Type of Book: Non-fiction, speculation, metaphysics, aliens

Why Do I Consider This Book Odd: Because it posits a theory that the little green men, I mean grays, are not from outer space but really live on or in Earth and have been deceiving us for years.

Availability: Published by Anomalist Books in 2010, you can get a copy here:

Comments: I had planned to do an “Alien Intervention Week” here on IROB, but at some point, I think I realized  that discussing all of the books I read on the topic in the space of one week would kill my spirit for months.  Most of the books spoke of a mindset that challenges my love of the odd, steeped in strange science and spurious proof that if challenged would result in months of unsettling e-mails sent to me from people whose sense reality would make it hard to respond, yet their earnestness would demand a response.  So I am going to spread these books out – it may take me years to discuss the handful I read – so that I can distribute the agony in such a manner that I don’t get emotional cramps every time I need to check my e-mail.

Plus I’m not that “into” aliens as a whole.  Discussing aliens has become not unlike discussing religion for me – a tiresome argument that no one can win. Yet the idea that aliens have intervened in the human race for assorted reasons falls into this category of “fringe” for me so of course I am drawn to it.  So it’s not like I can’t read it even as every bit of my common sense tells me to leave the topic alone.  It’s maddening.

You know how it is.

But this book was a reasonable breath of fresh air where odd theories of aliens meddling with humans beings go.  Mac Tonnies wrote a fascinating book of speculative ideas and  it was disheartening, to say the least, to learn that this interesting book was published posthumously, for Tonnies passed away in 2009 at the age of 34. If you have some time one day, comb through Tonnies’ blog, which I link to above. His ideas on transhumanism are engrossing.

In a way, this book is a perfect example of the sorts of ideas that made me a fan of the odd.  When I was a kid, books on Forteana were not so insistent.  They posited what happened (fish falling from the sky), posited a few potential answers (waterspouts drawing water and fish from streams, or an angry god), and left the reader to wonder and maybe discuss the topic.  Now the book on fish falling from the sky has spurious science to prove a particular point of view, all other points are dismissed, and the discussion becomes entrenched and adversarial.  Tonnies’ book made the fun of Forteana real again.

So Tonnies puts forth the idea that aliens are not from other planets but may be “cryptoterrestrials.”  Humans or near-humans or humanoid-like creatures that live among us.  Those who see little green men or little gray men are not seeing creatures from other planets but instead are seeing creatures that have lived among us on Earth.  Hidden creatures that may or may not be our genetic brethren, but that have nevertheless been with us for millennia.

This is an interesting idea and Tonnies goes about discussing it using a calm erudition that was thrilling (and appalling in a way because he is gone and there will be no more from him).  His prose is very crisp and delivers complex ideas in manageable bites so that readers like me don’t choke.  But I think the best way to show you this book is to give you snippets that resonated with me, examples of an excellent mind and an excellent book.

2011’s almost over, here’s the ubiquitous end-of-year list

This post originally appeared on I Read Odd Books

I have not been the most consistent and regular odd book blogger as of late. I failed to write as much as I wanted in 2011, and I also read far less than I expected. Part of it was likely due to losing close to two months dealing with the Norway shooter’s manifesto. Hopefully 2012 will see more writing and reading.

But still, even as I did not get as much done in 2011 as I would have liked, I still got enough done to have another end-of-year list. My end-of-the-year lists aren’t “best of” lists. Rather, my list discusses the things I read in 2011 that resonated strongly with me. Good, bad, horrible, normal, weird – this list discusses all I read in 2011 that stayed with me, for whatever reason.

1) 2083 by Anders Behring Breivik
I discussed this monster in four verbose parts. It kicked my ass and continues to do so. It caused the dissolution of a long friendship (I am too liberal, it seems), it caused neckbeards to send me sickening messages regarding feminism (hint: I needed to make them a sandwich), and the articles remain the most-read articles on my site. This surprised me because I am a book blogger, not a political blogger, but after a while it made some sense. As far as I know, Jim Goad and I are the only damn people who read the thing in its entirety. Every discussion I read online about 2083 invariably contains the phrases, “Well, I didn’t read it, but…” or “I only read part of it, but from what I read…” So I suspect just the simple fact that I read the thing ensured some curiosity on the part of people who ordinarily wouldn’t read IROB and accounted for some of the traffic.  It’s a curiosity thing – let’s see the cow with three heads and the dumb chick who read all of Breivik’s manifesto.

But amongst the race-hate and assorted nonsense, I met some very interesting people, and I count in those numbers even those I disagree with. I had a very interesting discussion with Baron Bodissey from Gates of Vienna, an e-mail exchange that, devoid of the repellent posturing I have come to associate with Islamophobia, explained much to me about the mindset of those who associated with Fjordman. But most important to me, I met many people from Norway who were deeply affected by the events of 7/22. Their stories humanized the whole nightmare for me, showing the direct impact of the 1518 pages. It became all too real for me.

In the midst of this, my words were translated into Norwegian, I was referenced a few times on MetaFilter, I was mocked and praised on endless discussion sites (the guys on Reddit think I am verbose, to which I cannot help but say, “No shit, Sherlock!”), and received so many e-mails I am surprised I managed to answer them all. This was the most intense experience of my blogging life.

2. Shoplifting From American Apparel by Tao Lin/The Tao Shoplifting Crisis by Canarsie House
Until I dared speak of mass murder in Norway, this review caused the most furor I had experienced online. The book stinks, I stated my case very plainly and with more words than the average Tao Lintern felt comfortable reading, and at the end of it, I wondered if I had stumbled into a cabal of neoists too bored by life even to be able to sneer properly. Many were appalled that I derived an opinion of Lin’s character from the thinly veiled autobiography he published as fiction.  Oh the outrage I received from various people online followed by umpteen e-mails from people stating variations on the theme of, “Holy crap, I hate Tao Lin too but please don’t use my real name if you post this message.” But as terrible as this book was, it should not have been surprising that the experience of talking about it was more important than the experience of reading it.

Then I received a copy of a book containing e-mails between Tao Lin and the author Richard Grayson, who is also a lawyer, as well as being an excellent writer. I have not discussed this book yet and may not because it is very short, but you never know. In this exchange, my assumptions about Lin were more or less affirmed. Yet at the same time, I began to feel a sort of pity for the young man facing court over shoplifting charges and not knowing what to wear, needing to borrow money from a sibling to engage a lawyer, and more or less behaving as if he had no idea of how the world worked around him. It’s hard to reconcile the young man in those e-mails with the jaded asshole in Shoplifting from American Apparel.

3) Population Zero by Wrath James White
I plan to discuss this book on this site and here’s a review spoiler: It’s a very good book. It’s the tale of a vegan social worker who breaks with reality and begins to engage in aggressive population control methods. The characterization is excellent and this is no small feat because slipping into caricatures when dealing with a vegan is par for the course for too many writers. It also engages in some really extreme content without it ever coming across as exploitative.

But aside from loving this book, White’s tale had more punch for me because it proved that on some level my instincts about him were correct. I had first encountered White in the book he wrote with Edward Lee, Teratologist. Any attempt to describe the book must, by law, include the word execrable. I found White’s blog and grew to love his extemporaneous writing and wondered what the hell happened, how did Teratologist happen when he is clearly an interesting and erudite man? On the basis of his blog, I went ahead and read The Book of a Thousand Sins, a collection of short stories I discussed on this site. I didn’t give it a rave review but the strengths of the collection seemed at odds with the hot mess that was Teratologist. The problems in his writing struck me as the sort of things writers work out as they get better, and Population Zero proved that feeling was on the money. This book ensures that I will be reading a lot more of White’s work.

4) In the Eyes of Mr. Fury by Philip Ridley
Another book I plan to discuss here. A hauntingly beautiful book of local legends, family secrets, and confrontation, with deft touches of magical realism. I read this book on a lark, buying it online off my wishlist because the cover was appealing. It took me a long time to read it and when I finally did, it was one of those books that forced me to look up everything Ridley has written because I was appalled I missed out reading him for so long.

5) Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs
I plan to discuss this book here as well. This book was a nice, charming read that sort of fell flat for me. I appreciated the cleverness of the pictures and the story itself was sort of interesting but there was a definite lack of tension and the ending was not really an ending. I left it feeling like the book was jadedly setting up a series and therefore the book did not need to end in a substantively clear manner. In the wake of really absorbing young adult books, like the Harry Potter and Hunger Games series, this book was just… flat. Something was missing. I don’t know exactly what it is and it’s been niggling at me. It’s strange that a mediocre book would stay with me this long just because I can’t put my finger on why it’s mediocre, but there you go.

6) Sleeping Beauty III: Memorial Photography: The Children, from the archives of Stanley Burns, MD
Death photography, children… It should be clear why this book haunts me. This book also inspired Mr. Oddbooks to buy me an excellent piece of art for our anniversary. I display it with the book. This might seem morbid to some, but for me it was a perfect gift. Art often inspires connections with books, but it’s not often for me that books inspire connections to art. So that makes that tiny book of dead children all the more important for me, I think.
Sleeping Beauty

7) Hunger by Knut Hamson
This is one of the few books I read criticism about before I read it and it’s been a thorn in my side since I read it. My opinions on this book were at odds with the opinions of those who read this book and loved it. Auster, Bukowski, and Bly are likely better judges of the content but I will discuss how I deviated from their ideas when I discuss the book.   I ended up feeling tight in the chest as I read. I wanted to yell at the protagonist, to tell him to just be reasonable, but of course such an artist cannot be reasonable. I had a similar feeling when I first read Edith Wharton’s The House of Mirth. I don’t know if closer examination will show any correlations between Lily Bart and Hunger‘s hero, but when my brain feels up to it, I will see if the two have anything in common. This book is definitely odd enough to discuss here, which I will do in the fullness of time.

8. Codex Seraphinianus by Luigi Serafini
Mr. Oddbooks got me a relatively inexpensive copy from Italy for my birthday and this book is a mindbend. I made it to the part I call “Weird Insects on Obstacle Course Islands” and had to stop. At times I have a tenuous hold on reality and this book challenged that hold. Honestly, this is a seriously odd book. Once I can finish absorbing all of it, I will discuss it here. This is a relatively expensive book, but you can have a look online. This is one of those books that really needs to be experienced in paper form but ultimately if you can’t shell out anywhere from $100 to $500 for a book, online is better than nothing.

9) The Ends of Our Tethers by Alasdair Gray
Definitely odd, definitely a book I will discuss here eventually, this book is one of those collections that seemed like it was written specifically for me. A character with a nasty skin condition, a clever but dissolute weirdo who gets the better of some teen punks, poets engaging in mind-fucks… This book was crammed with one-liners but was erudite enough in its execution that I did not feel like I was being forced to witness someone else’s cleverness as he showed off with words. This book may be the catalyst for me to start writing again. Experiencing that strange thrill when you read someone whose words show that there is someone on the planet whose mind sort of works like yours is a heady experience.

10) Room: A Novel by Emma Donoghue
I was skeptical at first because this book seemed like a “ripped from the headlines” sort of read. Such books can be fun to read but are seldom amazing. This was an exception, which should not have been surprising to me, as I have enjoyed Donoghue in the past. But even though this book seems very much inspired by actual crime and could have been a trashy read, it isn’t. Not close. This book is narrated by Jack, a five-year-old boy who lives in a room with his mother, who gave birth to him after her abductor imprisoned her for years in a small shed. Jack’s acquired language deficits seem strange given he was raised by a mother who spoke to him and read to him often, but that is a small criticism. This book was heartbreaking and gripping. There is a tense scene in the book so tightly written that my pulse accelerated reading it. This book was not strange enough to discuss here, but it is definitely worth a read.

I had a lot of strange stuff happen this year, Tao Lin and Norwegian killers notwithstanding. I managed to piss off a black metal god, as well as an author I really liked and whose work I discussed in depth on my site that predated IROB. I managed to do both without any intent to upset anyone.  Also, this happened. Yet despite the haze of negativity that seemed a part of my online experience in 2011, this was actually a pretty good year. I read less than I wanted but I also managed to add significantly to my book collection, obtaining several rare or expensive books that I had wanted for a long time. I met some very interesting people (Ted the Romanian, Edward Sung, Evil Gringo, Iskwew, Omine, Bad Tara and so many others), and had a chance to start writing for other blogs, and though I did not take advantage of those opportunities the way I should have, perhaps in 2012 I will be more focused.

So let’s all have an excellent year in 2012 and if you feel so inclined, tell me of the books that made an impact on you in 2011. You guys lead me to the best books so don’t be shy or brief.

Museum of the Weird by Amelia Gray

This post originally appeared on I Read Odd Books

Book: Museum of the Weird

Author: Amelia Gray

Type of Book: Fiction, short story collection, flash fiction, bizarro, gently weird

Why Do I Consider This Book Odd: Because the stories, if not technically classified as bizarro, are bizarro nonetheless. And when they aren’t bizarro, they are gently weird.  Sometimes outright weird.

Availability: Published by The University of Alabama Press in 2010, you can get a copy here:

Comments: I have a favorable disposition toward women named Amelia. I knew a girl in high school named Amelia Beebe and she was one of the most interesting people in high school, but whitebread suburban high school experiences being what they are, I don’t think she and others realized it. I also have a favorable disposition toward those who love cats and the first entry I saw on Gray’s blog was a discussion of losing a kitty to feline leukemia. We lost a kitty to the dread disease and my heart bled for her, reading that entry.

Lest you think I am going to give this book a favorable review because of my various favorable dispositions, please note that I did not know about the cats before I started writing this review, and already had my opinion about the book pretty well formed. Of course I knew her name is Amelia before I began discussing the book, but since I can find it in myself to detest writers with my own name, her name played into my decision calculus hardly at all.

It is her writing that ensured a rave review. Fanciful, strange, unsettling, oddly sweet, vaguely sickening, amusingly awkward, Gray has a writing style that ensured I went back and reread a couple of stories immediately after finishing the book, just because they were that good.

There isn’t a bad story in this collection, and my innate hypergraphia is taking a nap at the moment, so I will just focus on the best of the bunch.

Let’s begin with “Waste.” This was one of those stories that, as I read it, made me feel like I was going a little insane. It’s a strange piece that I found compelling despite the fact that I find eating pig horrifying. Perhaps I liked the story because Gray’s characters explore the whole, “when does it stop being pig and become pork.” A man who works collecting medical waste from doctors’ offices shares odd culinary experiences with his neighbor, a woman with lovely collarbones who works as a line cook in a vegetarian restaurant. Olive is an exotic foodie, creating culinary experiences out of the strangest meats, making a sickening but sweet sacrifice that Roger may not wholly appreciate but at least his experiences with medical waste gave him the stomach to cope. As a woman who loves to cook, is meat-shy, and given to feeling deep disgust for any body process that would require a medical waste pick-up, it was unusual how much I enjoyed this story. Sometimes I enjoy having my disgust pinged, I guess.

Food horror actually played a significant role in this collection. In “Dinner” a woman finds herself with the unenviable task of eating a plate of hair in order to ensure her relationship continues smoothly, even though no one particularly knows why the plate of hair is on the table or even why it is important. A short, short story, this read more like the retelling of an unsettling dream than a story, a dream I have not had myself yet understood.

This dream-like element to storytelling continues in “A Javelina Story” wherein a hostage negotiator finds himself paired with five javelinas at a hostage scene wherein boy scouts are tied to chairs. The pigs just want to eat, the hostage-taker misinterprets their actions and everyone learns an odd lesson.

Many of the stories are flash fiction, so short that you don’t really process the punch until you feel the bruise on your psyche. Take “Unsolved Mystery.” Very short piece about the investigation into a serial killer with a bonesaw. These are the last two lines:

What I don’t say is, God’s a clever bastard and I do respect him. He’s everywhere.

“Thoughts While Strolling” does what it says on the tin. This story spoke directly to my particular sense of humor.

Jim Hale better train his dog.

That dog runs the perimeter of Hale’s yard, treading the ground until he makes a ditch. Dog says, “Hey, come over here.” When you do, that damn dog gives you a recipe for lemon bars which omits egg yolks and disappoints you sincerely. 

Later in the story:

Frogs croaking.

Turn them over and tickle them, the young boys say to the girls. After much conversing and screeching, one brave girl picks up a slick frog, green as a fig. She flips it over so delicately in her small palm that the boys stop their shoving and feel strange for watching. The girl extends one slender finger and runs it slowly up and down the frog’s exposed belly. When the frog urinates on her, she looks at the boys with loathing. She will later go on to swallow two goldfish alive.

“Diary of the Blockage” made me nervous because I can all too easily see this story happening to me. After a particularly upsetting incident involving a large iron pill, Mr Oddbooks can tell you that I will likely die from a foreign matter lodged, “it seems, between my esophagus and windpipe.” The narrator of the story tries to get the substance to come up but cannot. And much like me, she finds it hard to seek help for her problem:

DAY 2

I did not call the doctor. I went so far as to find my insurance card, but I could not imagine the remember Miss Mosely, well she has had a thing lodged in her throat all within range of anyone with half a mind to be within earshot of the the office window. I feel very sincerely that bodily functions have their place, but why would the toiletries and makeup and personal privacy industries all be such multimillion dollar successes if the place for those bodily functions was in public? To say otherwise is to disrespect culture.

This story was really on the mark for me, a neurotic who is determined to stay well enough that I never need to avail myself of a bedpan, though I did once vomit on one of my cats because I was  slow moving due to leg surgery and had stomach flu. I sense this story may be a pregnancy nightmare, too, for the lump in the throat later takes on a life of its own, in a way. All I know is that it was very important to the paranoid part of me that now takes my evening pills in far smaller clumps.

The best story was “The Darkness.” A penguin and an armadillo meet at a bar. The penguin has Fought the Darkness and can speak of little else, and the armadillo has spread vegetable oil on her shell in an attempt to look pretty and shiny.

“You are a penguin and I am an armadillo,” the armadillo said. “My name is Betsy.”

“That’s a beautiful name,” murmured the penguin, who was more interested in the condensation on his glass. “I fought the darkness.”

“You did not.”

The penguin swiveled his head to look at Betsy. He had very beady eyes.

“What’s your name?” she said.

“Ray,” said the penguin,

“That’s a nice name.”

The penguin explains what he means by The Darkness and Betsy really wants to stay on track with flirting, changing the subject, but Ray demands his due.

“I suppose you think I’m some sort of lesser penguin, just because I fought the fucking darkness and tasted my own blood, because I haven’t protected a stupid fucking egg.”

Betsy felt tears welling up. Don’t cry, she said to herself. It would be really stupid to cry at this moment.

“I honor your fight. I did not mean to disrespect you.”

Ray sank back. “It’s no disrespect,” he said. “I’m just a penguin in a bar, drinking my gin out of a fucking highball glass for some reason.”

“I was wondering why they did that,” the armadillo said.

“Doesn’t make any goddamn sense,” said the penguin.

And it really doesn’t make any sense but the story is delightful nonetheless, encapsulating all that is so banal about so much of human interaction in these unlikely beasts as they attempt and perhaps succeed just a little at making some sort of connection. I read this one aloud to Mr. Oddbooks one night, unconsciously slipping into the redneck accent of my youth that I repress as second nature.

This collection was just too wonderful for me. A letter from a woman to her apartment complex complaining about the year’s Christmas decoration contest. One story told the strange tale of a man married to a paring knife and another married to a bag of fish. A man takes up residence in his suitcase, much to the dismay of his girlfriend. Vultures come and loom over an entire town. Bizarre, magical, strange, nauseating stories, all crafted from a mind so focused on my own nightmares and uneasy dreams that I felt myself becoming paranoid at times. Luckily, Gray is such a talented storyteller that her gift was greater than my nervousness and I highly recommend this book to all who find themselves wondering what would happen if one was able to splice Garrison Keillor, Bradley Sands and Raymond Carver into one writing force.

Free non-odd books

This post originally appeared on I Read Odd Books

Because I am at times an indiscriminate consumer of books, it’s not unusual for me to purchase duplicate copies. Actually, this happens a lot more than I likely know because you don’t even want to know how many books I have yet to catalog. But anyway, I have the following duplicates and my lovely readers here can have them if they want them.

If anything sounds good to you, leave a comment claiming the book(s). Then send me an e-mail at anita at ireadoddbooks dot com with your address. For the love of all that is sane, do not leave your address in the comments. Just claim the book and send me the e-mail and it’s yours.

Here are the books I want to unload on y’all:

Chew On This: Everything You Don’t Want to Know About Fast Food by Eric Schlosser CLAIMED

Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto by Chuck Klosterman CLAIMED

Barrel Fever: Stories and Essays by David Sedaris CLAIMED

The Almost Moon: A Novel by Alice Sebold CLAIMED

13 Steps Down by Ruth Rendell CLAIMED

All are either new or so close to new that it sort of doesn’t matter.

I’d like to say this will not happen again but we all know it will. Thanks for taking them off my hands.

Demons in the Age of Light by Whitney Robinson

This post originally appeared on I Read Odd Books

Book: Demons in the Age of Light: A Memoir of Psychosis and Recovery

Author: Whitney Robinson

Type of Book: Non-fiction, memoir, mental illness, psychiatry

Why Do I Consider This Book Odd: In a way it is not odd because psychiatric memoirs are thick on the ground these days. But in a sense this book is very odd because being given an invitation to look into the mind of a person actively suffering from schizophrenia is in and of itself a strange, unsettling experience.

Availability: Published by Process Media in 2011, you can get a copy here:

Comments: Just warning you now, dear reader, that this discussion is going to be one of my trademarked Very Long Discussions with Lots of Quotes from the Book, coupled with a very personal reactions to the text. For those who find a 8000 word or so discussion excessive, here is the tl;dr version: This is a very good book written by a very good writer and you should buy it and read it.

I read a lot of mental health and mental illness memoirs and this was the first one I ever considered odd enough to discuss here. I very nearly missed reading it. I had run into a spate of memoirs that left me cold, and had the online acquaintance who recommended the book to me and then sent me a copy offered it two weeks earlier than she did, I would have declined. But just before she discussed the book with me, I had finished a very good, very honest mental illness memoir, Stacy Pershall’s Loud in the House of Myself: Memoir of a Strange Girl. The offer to read the book came at the right time after the right book.

It would have been a shame to have turned down this book because of the often sorry shelf-company it is forced to share. And I don’t mean to demean the genre because people gets all kinds of help in all kinds of ways that I may find less than helpful. It’s just that lately some of the books I have read wore very thin for me. It seemed like the authors, mostly women, had romanticized their illness. To paraphrase Elizabeth Wurtzel, patron saint of fucked up women of a certain age, they had fallen in love with their illness. The devastation the disease wreaked on their bodies, their education, their relationships – it all was a back story to a fabulous disaster narrative.

Also there is a current theme in mental health studies that posits that mental illnesses, or neurodiversity, are a form of genetic selection for arts, letters and speculative science and therefore celebrate the conditions. I can see the logic. Not only is there a long record of acclaimed people who created great art and propelled science, but as a person with mental illness, I like to think that there is a purpose behind my at times terrible brain chemistry. But I am made uneasy by some of it because even though Van Gogh left behind astonishing paintings and Virginia Woolf left behind masterful prose and John Nash was a great boon to speculative physics, would any of us really want to live their lives? It’s all well and good to see the up side of having appalling brain chemistry, but I often fear that people who are suffering will read such examinations and decide that their affliction should not be treated, should not be seen as a disease that needs to be addressed in order for them to live the best life they can live. As much as I adore Gerard Manley Hopkins’ poetry, and I have no real way of knowing how much his deep depression truly affected his writing, thinking about the sorry end of his life makes it just a little harder to enjoy the beauty and truth of his words. Art that comes from a truly suffering person will always have a pall cast over it.

This book does not engage in the sort of celebration and art uber alles justifications for mental illness that I have encountered as of late. Whitney Robinson’s memoir gets everything right. She shows the wreckage. She shows how mental illness swooped down into her life and changed everything. A natural writer with a near-intimidating intelligence, Robinson tells the story of her illness, the demon that came into her brain, and how she came back out the other side. It is an erudite, honest, and at times darkly humorous look at what it feels like to have your brain behave in ways you have no control over. Schizophrenia is one of the hardest mental illnesses for people to truly understand, and Robinson writes a fascinating book that is never once a freak show. It is never an attempt to glorify conditions that can ransack a person’s life. This book is never a voyeuristic peephole into the at times salacious subject matter of mental illness.

It is a rare invitation to understand.

Post-analysis burnout

This post originally appeared on I Read Odd Books

You know, I am not sorry that I decided to discuss Anders Behring Brevik’s mass murder manifesto. From what I could tell, with the exception of a handful of other writers, notably Jim Goad, no one else who discussed it actually read it. I read it, reacted, and some people found some value in it and that is awesome. Some people did not find value in it and opened up interesting dialogues with me. That too is awesome.

Less awesome is the sort of malaise I feel since writing it. I’ve had e-mails that, were I the snitching sort, would have given FBI agents a twitch in their loins (I’m only exaggerating a little here…).  A friendship ended (I think) over my liberalism.  And I am still getting e-mails from people who just wanna talk about the pros and cons of mass murder based on race hate.  All of that sucked and the sheer weight of all that hate and misery has stayed with me longer than it should have and it has made me reluctant to blog, to discuss books, or even to read much aside from little snippets here and there online.

I seem to be coming out of it though, and the sort of crankiness borne from being reminded that half the world will always want to kill the other half is lifting a bit. The weather is cooler, my mind is focused on more positive ideas and I’m avoiding politics until the last bit of black rage that came from people telling me that teenagers deserved to die at the hands of a madman subsides. As of this moment, there is not much left and I can feel the desire to discuss books returning.

So come back next week. I plan to discuss a fascinating book about schizophrenia called Demons in the Age of Light by Whitney Robinson. It will be another of my long, quote-laden discussions, and in a way I could not have expected, writing about the book is helping me clear out a lot of the angst writing about Anders Behring Brevik caused.

So until 11/2 or 11/3, give me a comment about what you’ve been reading. Let me know if there are any books you’ve been anticipating. Any other media you’re into? I myself have been caught up in Boardwalk Empire and have been reading Richard “Tin Man” Harrow and Jimmy Darmody fan fiction because that sort of user-generated madness is strangely reassuring to me at the moment. It never does anyone any good to compare lunacy but it helps to know I am not the craziest crazy online.

So share, and tune back in after Halloween.

Cosmic Suicide by Rodney Perkins and Forrest Jackson

This post originally appeared on I Read Odd Books

Book: Cosmic Suicide: The Tragedy and Transcendence of Heaven’s Gate

Authors: Rodney Perkins and Forrest Jackson

Type of Book: Non-fiction, true crime, cults

Why Do I Consider This Book Odd: It was a look at the Heaven’s Gate suicide when events were still relatively fresh and mass cult suicide is always a bit strange. The book is also listed as a source in the amazing book Strange Creations by Donna Kossy and would be a honorary odd book on that merit alone.

Availability: Published by Pentaradial Press in 1997, you can get a copy here:

Comments: When I began reading this book I thought there would not be much that was new to me. I had already read quite a bit about the Heaven’s Gate cult, those strange, asexual computer geeks in California who killed themselves en masse to be able to board the spacecraft they were sure was traveling behind the Hale-Bopp comet. And in a way, I was correct. The book tells very succinctly the story of how two lost souls – Marshall Applewhite and Betty Lu Nettles – met and fed off each other, creating the New Age death cult that became Heaven’s Gate.

All the details that caught the public’s morbid imagination are there. The androgyny of those who took their lives, the voluntary castrations of some of the men, the presence of Nichelle Nichols’ brother among the suicide victims. It all made for very tawdry television.

The case interested me for a couple of reasons, above and beyond the strange details of the suicide and Art Bell phone call that some believe was the genesis for the belief that there was something following behind the Hale-Bopp comet – later interpreted as a space craft by Heaven’s Gate members. By killing themselves, they thought they would meet up on the space craft with Betty Lu Nettles, who had died, and achieve what they called T.E.L.A.H. – The Evolutionary Level Above Human.   All of that was sort of interesting, but strangely bloodless in a way. The way the cult killed themselves was orderly, calm, and without the sort of horror I associate with mass suicides.